谁不希望自己儿女、学生未来一帆风顺？但真的有为人父的不这么认为。美国首席大法官罗伯兹（John Roberts）上个月 3 日受邀至儿子就读的中学（知名男校 Cardigan Mountain School）发表毕业致词，他的致词里面没有“前程似锦、鹏程万里”， 却希望台下所有学生能遭遇“不幸”、“挫败”甚至是“被背叛”。

他读法条读到“秀逗”了吗？当然不是，仔细看完毕业致词影片后，仍然有许多人深受感动，罗伯兹并没有凭空为孩子勾勒出美好未来的蓝图，而是期待下一代能有跌倒之后重新爬起来奋斗的勇气。要讲出这番话，充满为人父的挣扎，却也尊重孩子成为一个独立的个体，洋溢著对孩子的期待。

不到 20 分钟的致词里，罗伯兹提出了真挚的建议、幽默卖关子，以及献给毕业生的罕见“祝福”。他希望孩子能遭遇不幸，如此才能了解到成功不是完全你所应得的，而他人的失败也不是他们所应得的结果，从中体悟运动家精神的重要性。同时，他也叮嘱学生尊重周遭社经地位较低的人，建议学生时刻面带微笑、主动打招呼等等。

罗伯兹也建议，当社会上弥漫着要人“做自己”的风气时，要先搞清楚自己是怎样的人，不要排斥改变自己，要无时无刻成为更好的人，才能够安心活出真我。

最后，他以美国歌手巴布．狄伦（Bob Dylan）的名曲《永远年轻》（Forever Young）歌词献给毕业生，这是巴布．狄伦写给自己儿子的歌，虽然现在很多年轻人可能没听过，但罗伯兹认为非常适合描述父母对子女的期许。

这份不寻常的祝福词被《华盛顿邮报》、《时代周刊》、《华尔街日报》等各大美国媒体报导，甚至全世界都在疯传。以下为致词中英节录：

通常毕业致词者会祝你们好运还会祝你们心想事成，但我不会这么做。我会告诉你们原因。

在接下来数年的三不五时间，我希望你们被不公平对待，如此你们才知道公平正义的重要。我希望你们遭遇背叛，如此才知道忠诚的重要性。

很抱歉要这么说，但我希望你们有时感到孤单，这样才不会把朋友当作理所当然。

我希望你们三不五时遭遇不幸，如此才能意识到概率和运气在人生中扮演的角色，了解成功不是完全你所应得的，而他人的失败也不是他们所应得的结果。

当你们失败时，人生三不五时一定会有失败，我希望你的对手会对你的失败幸灾乐祸，让你们理解运动家精神的重要性。

我希望你们遭忽视，如此才会知道聆听他人的重要性，我还希望你们遭遇足够的痛苦来学习同理心。

不管是否来自我的希望，这些事终究会发生。 至于你们是否能从中获利，则取决于你们从不幸中获得信息的能力。

毕业致词者通常会给学生一些建议。他们会给一些广泛的建议，也会给一些有用的小撇步。

最常给的建议就是：做自己。给所有穿著一样的人如此建议实在有点怪，但你们确实应该做自己。

只是你们得了解做自己的意义何在。除非你很完美，否则做自己不代表不能接受改变。

在某些状况来说，你不应该做自己，而是应该变成更好的人。大家说‘做自己’是因为他们希望你们能阻挡外界要求你们做的事， 但除非你们了解自己是谁，或思考过自己是谁，否则无法‘做自己’。

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Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why.

From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty.

Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted.

I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.

And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship.

I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen.

And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips.

The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself.

But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes.

In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better.

People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don’t learn who are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay
Forever young
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay
Forever young
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay
Forever young

延伸阅读

18 分钟完整致词在这里！